I read once that there are two occasions when you are totally on your own. The one is when you are dying and the other is when you are making a speech!

Most people are nervous of speaking in public and I know of many grooms who will admit that the one part of their wedding day that they dreaded the most was when it was time for them to make their speech.

Strictly speaking, speeches form part of the entertainment at a function, and as they can make or break an event, great care should be taken when choosing those you would like to speak at your wedding.

Fair warning

Another important point to remember is that it is advisable to give the various speechmakers at your wedding plenty of warning, to allow them sufficient time to prepare.

If they know each other, it is also a good idea to have them check that their speeches do not overlap.

Richard Curtis, scriptwriter for the popular film, 'Four Weddings and a Funeral', tells how he once attended the wedding of someone who worked for American Express, a company whose slogan included the words, 'that'll do nicely'.

The father of the bride began his speech by saying, 'When Martin offered to marry my daughter, I said, "that'll do nicely". At which point he looked across at the best man, who had turned white. His entire speech had been based on the 'that'll do nicely' concept. Suddenly the groom fainted. 'That'll do nicely' was his speech too! So beware — you have been warned!

Remember to be sincere

If you are unaccustomed to public speaking it can be daunting to stand up and address a gathering that includes many strangers. However, the wonderful thing about making a speech at a wedding is that your audience is already warmed by the happiness of the occasion and is not expecting a long or serious oration, which would be out of place. All you need to do is give them a few well-chosen and amusing words.

One of the most vital aspects of any speech is sincerity — as long as you are sincere and not pompous or patronising, the audience will be on your side.

Richard Curtis, also advises the best man to mention love in his speech. As he says: "No matter how grisly the whole speech has been, if you point out that the groom loves the bride and the bride loves the groom and look as though you mean it, everyone will love you and you will have done your job."

Don't overdo it

A speech at a wedding should be brief, certainly not more than four or five minutes at most. Your audience will love you if you adopt the KISS method (Keep It Short and Sweet).

The other age-old advice to speakers is to 'stand up, speak up and shut up!' The most important of these is of course to 'speak up'. Nervousness often makes a speaker inaudible, and at a large venue a good sound system is vital. The problem with microphones is that they can be a bit daunting if you are not used to them.

If you're nervous, remember to breathe properly and try not to deliver your speech at a hundred kilometres an hour. A pause between sentences will help to get your point across.

And no matter what the occasion, resist the temptation to launch into long, boring stories about the family's past achievements. This is particularly important at weddings, when one often feels great sympathy for a squirming bride having to sit through the saga of her parents' history! Likewise having to endure the look of agony on the groom's face as he has to listen to his bachelor party escapades reproduced in glorious technicolour!

The bride and groom should also be spared the embarrassment of vulgar or risqué jokes. The golden rule is to tell only one joke, and to stick to the kind that you could tell your elderly maiden aunt without blushing! By doing so, you won't run the risk of offending any of the guests.

Never make fun of the bridal couple or any of the other guests and try to steer away from jokes about wedding nights and honeymoons — apart from running the risk of being tasteless, they tend to be hackneyed and predictable.

Next time we will cover the role of the Master of Ceremonies at a wedding.