I was recently asked for advice regarding the wording on the Order of Service for a wedding ceremony and this made me think about wedding stationery in general, as it's a vital element of the celebration and it's important that it all co-ordinates well.

When you stop and think about it, your wedding invitation is the first notification that your guests receive of your special event, so it's wise to set aside enough time to choose the style and wording most suitable for the occasion.

Over the past few years, I've enjoyed witnessing the exciting changes in wedding invitation styles, with the staid, traditional format giving way to more modern designs geared to reflect the personalities of the bride and groom.

Choosing a theme

As mentioned, when choosing your stationery, it's important to try to maintain the theme of your wedding by linking the invitation to the Order of Service, as well as to the menu and thank you cards. And once you have chosen a theme, stick to it. Don't, for instance, have butterflies or cupids on the invitations and then switch to dragons and roses for the menus and thank you cards.

Couples often think that they can save money by designing their own wedding stationery, but without some design and printing experience, this can turn into a nightmare.

If you are determined to go this route, allow yourself plenty of time to complete the task. The last thing you want to be doing on the morning of your wedding is tying pretty bows onto Order of Service sheets!

Become a stickler (proof-reading)

Spend time choosing the correct wording for your invitation, and do ensure that all names (including that of the venue), are spelt correctly. An incorrectly spelt personal name on an invitation can cause much embarrassment — and it does happen!

Over the years we have been amazed at the many misspellings of the popular town of Franschhoek, for example — to say nothing of the numerous variations to which poor Simon's Town has been subjected.

Likewise, before printing, double-check that all dates, times and the venue details are correct, as mistakes can be costly.

What else should be on the invitation?

The last thing you want is for guests to be embarrassed by discovering, on arrival at your reception, that they have insufficient funds to cover their drinks — so if it is your intention to have a cash bar, it's a good idea to state as much on your invitations.

The inclusion of small children at weddings can be a touchy subject and if you feel strongly that you would prefer that your friends leave their offspring at home, it is best to state this clearly, as in 'No children by request'.

Then there's the question of dress. I've recently noticed a trend (especially among male guests) towards very casual attire at weddings, and many brides have been enquiring as to how to ensure that their guests 'look the part'. The only way around this dilemma is to state a dress code on the invitation.

This is particularly important if you are planning a formal occasion. On invitations I have seen, the dress code has varied from 'formal' or 'smart casual' to 'elegant'. My all-time favourite has to be the one that asked guests to dress 'fabulously'!

Invitation no-no's

As it is considered impolite to include details of your gift registry with your invitations, this information should be mailed separately to your guests after you have sent out the invitations. And while on the subject of what is de rigueur, although we are living in a digital age, wedding invitations sent by e-mail have yet to be generally accepted.

One of the problems associated with this form of communication is that your invitation could be rejected as spam by a guest's web server and another is that an elaborate invitation could take a while to download. Also, there are many folks out there who still don't have an e-mail address. Yes, really.

The logistics

When deciding on the number of invitations required, it is always a good idea to add a few extra. And remember to include parents and parents-in-law in your final count — it might seem obvious that they will be attending, but most will tell you that they would love to have an invitation as a memento of this special day in their children's lives. (By the same token, don't forget to include the rest of the bridal party as well.) It's also wise to ensure that you have extra envelopes on hand, in case of any mistakes made when addressing them.

When choosing invitations, bear in mind that it is more cost-effective to have ones that will fit into a standard-size envelope, as non-standard sizes incur extra postage and are often difficult to obtain, particularly if you are looking for an unusual colour. When designing your invitations, always ensure before having them printed that envelopes are available to fit the chosen size.

Incidentally, if you think guests might have problems finding your ceremony and reception venues, it's a good idea to include a map, along with directions.

A question that I'm often asked is, 'How long before the wedding should I post my invitations?' Generally speaking, invitations are sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding day. Should you be marrying in the busy month of December, 10 weeks before would be preferable.

If some guests will be travelling to South Africa from afar, it is recommended that you notify them even further in advance, as this will enable them to take advantage of specials on airfares, for example. Sending out 'Save the Day' cards well in advance is also a useful way to ensure that overseas guests have enough time to plan their trips.

Order of Service

As mentioned earlier, I often get requests regarding the wording of the Order of Service. As this obviously varies from wedding to wedding, it will differ in the details, but basically, as its name implies, its main objective is to keep guests informed of the various stages of the ceremony.

The front cover could have a quote or piece of scripture that is meaningful to the couple, along with their names. The inside would list the order of service, for example: processional — hymn — address — hymn — vows — signing of register — recessional. (The words of the hymns would be given here as well.)

Consult the experts

All the stationery experts who exhibit at Celebration House are well equipped to offer suggestions on ways to make your wedding invitations unique and talked-about, and they usually relish the opportunity to step outside the boundaries of formality to create something special.

You are welcome to view examples of their work at Celebration House, as well as our extensive library of imported wedding magazines and books, which will also provide you with ideas and inspiration to get you started.

There is no entrance fee at Celebration House, nor is it necessary to make an appointment to visit, and our spacious exhibition centre in Protea Road, Claremont is easy to find (there's a map on our website, Celebration House), with lots of free parking outside.