I spoke to a few mothers whose children have married recently and asked them what, given the chance, they would have done differently regarding their involvement in their daughter or son's wedding day. They provided me with some interesting answers...

  • I would have asked more questions when booking the venue my daughter and her fiancé chose for their reception. I found out at the last minute that many items I had assumed would be included in the cost were in fact regarded as extras. For instance, I was amazed to discover that the linen serviettes I thought would be a standard item incurred an extra cost. My advice to other mothers would be to not assume anything, and to ask to see the cutlery and crockery the venue intends using.

  • I wish now that I had spent more time choosing the outfit I wore to the wedding. Due to my time being taken up with so much else that had to be taken care of, I put off making my choice till the last minute. This meant that I ended up rushing around looking for accessories to match my outfit a few days before the event.

  • I had no idea how important timing would be on the day itself, and I wish I had stressed this fact to the couple. As the service started much later than planned, the arrival of the guests at the reception was delayed. We had organised for a string quartet to entertain guests on their arrival at the reception venue. Through no fault of theirs, the quartet spent half an hour of the allotted time playing to no one! We then had to ask them to play for an additional half hour, which ultimately added to the cost.

  • It never entered my head to speak to the venue in advance about the procedure for the cutting of the cake. Once the couple had been photographed sharing a piece of the cake, we automatically assumed it would be cut. As nobody took control, we were horrified to discover at the end of the evening, once the guests had left, that there was still a whole cake left uneaten!

  • I wish we had discussed the financing of the wedding in greater detail right at the start. With hindsight, it would have saved a lot of 'angst' if we had agreed to a set amount with the other parents, and left the couple to make their own decisions as to how it should be spent.

  • As the mother of the groom, I wish I had requested a photograph alone with my son. With so much happening on the day I forgot to do so, and although I have group photographs, it would have meant a lot to me to have one of us on our own.

  • I regret now the clashes we had over my daughter wanting to have a less traditional wedding. On the day itself, I realised that what she had chosen for her special day was beautiful and right for her. I would advise other mothers to be more flexible.

  • I am sorry that we did not print any extra wedding invitations. The videographer borrowed my copy to photograph for the wedding video and never returned it. As there were no spares, I now don't have a copy of my daughter's wedding invitation.