Q. Hi, I already have a house with everything that goes with it, so would really like people to give us money as a wedding present. How do you tell people that in your wedding invitation? Thanks.

A. Without a doubt this is the question I am asked most regularly by engaged couples. I always find this a difficult one to answer, since it is generally considered impolite to do this.

What many couples overlook is the fact that they have invited their friends and family as their guests to witness their wedding. Strictly speaking, these invited guests are in no way obligated to give you a gift.

It is the same as if they had invited you to their home for dinner, in which case they would not expect you to bring them an expensive gift, or to proffer some cash!

The best way to get around the problem is to spread the word via your respective parents that you would prefer cash, as you are saving up for a particular item. Guests would generally like to know what the money they give as a gift is going to be spent on and that it is not just going towards paying off your credit card, for example! It is also inappropriate to ask for any particular amount.