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Today, 04 July 2009

> The iafrica.com debate

> IRB called in on Botha ban

> Rugby live scoring

> What's on this holiday?

> De Villiers is a 'liar'

Yesterday, 03 July 2009

> A slap in the face

> I'm no thug - Schalk

> 'Jews, Arabs to live apart'

> Smit slams Bakkies ban

> Lions warn Boks

You are single and as the inevitability of Valentine's Day approaches, you are faced with the daunting prospect of finding somebody (anybody) who'll agree to spend it with you. While there is always the possibility that — with absolutely no effort on your part — Cupid will hook you up with a gorgeous stranger, you could try your luck with a cheesy pick-up line.

This suggestion comes with huge red warning signs and flashing lights because, contrary to the belief of sleazy unattractive guys the world over, pick-up lines rarely work. Occasionally, if the delivery is right, you'll get a laugh, but more likely than not, you'll get a grimace or a slap in the face.

Your chances are a little better if you look like Brad Pitt — in fact a simple hello will probably suffice. Or if you are female, guys are generally delighted if girls come to talk to them, so it doesn't really matter what you say. In fact, chances are that the sleazier your line is, the more delighted they will be.

It's all in the delivery

Delivery is everything — be charming, be lighted-hearted and let the recipient of your untoward affections know that you're not entirely serious.

Here are some of the corniest pick-up lines we could find — laugh at them, use them, but bear in mind that we are in no way endorsing their success!

• Do you have a band-aid? Because I scraped my knee falling for you.


• You've got to be tired, because you've been running through my mind all day.


• Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?


• I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.


• I hope you know CPR, because you take my breathe away.


• Can I take your picture, because I want to show Santa Claus what I want for Christmas.


• Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?


• I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

And while no pick-up line could actually be called 'good', we thought these were a little less corny.

• I seem to have lost my telephone number, may I borrow yours?


• I'm here. What are your other two wishes?


• Bond. James Bond.


• Be unique and different, just say yes.


• Did you invite all of these people? I thought it was just going to be the two of us.

Be unconventional

Not everyone goes for the conventional, so if you want to convey the sense that you are an original, if you want a pick-up line that will set you apart from the rest, you could try one of these.

• Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.


• Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

On the other hand, these pick-up lines may cause the object of your affection to glance nervously around the room or move rapidly away from you — but hey, who wants a girl like that anyway?

Anger-inducing lines

And then there are the 'dirty' pick-up lines. While perhaps slightly more entertaining than the corny ones, these are also more like to result in a slap across the face.

• Smile if you want to sleep with me.


• Screw me if I'm wrong, but haven't we met before?


• Do you want to come to my house for spaghetti and sex? Why not, don't you like spaghetti?

Mmm… funny. A final word of advice, is never reuse a pick-up line (or for that matter more than one pick-up line) on the same person. Quite early on in our relationship, my boyfriend used the line: 'That dress looks great on you… but it would look better in a pile next to my bed'. At the time I gave him an indulgent half-smile. When he used it for the fifth time however, I seriously considered dumping him.

The rules when it comes to pick-up lines are simple — they should be non-offensive, you should be charming and they should be used very, very sparingly.