I'm facing a somewhat perplexing conundrum. I went on a date with a very nice man over the weekend. Sure, he had little hair, but Bruce Willis is back in vogue now that Ashton over-Punk'd himself — let's be honest.

This lovely man is a high school teacher. I liked that. I wouldn't be cutting competitive shapes over boardroom tables with yet another high-flying executive, nor discussing wavering hedge funds, or counting the threads on his new Armani...

A teacher, he believes that children are the future. And he's probably quite maternal — at least broodier than I am. Maybe he'd rub off on me, or rub me up and down, either way.

We ate at a family pizzeria. The scene was set. We opened a bottle of red, and after the usual chitchat, got onto our careers.

So how different are we?

Indeed, he was an ambitious sort of teacher. He'd built schools in the Transkei and did extra lessons for the less academically-inclined. What I was sitting opposite was, in fact, a saint.

However, I think it apt to put context to how different we are.

I was bought up to be a self-sufficient woman. Coupled with an unwavering drive, independence is something that comes naturally to me. To rely on a man financially, or for anything that I can do myself for that matter, would make me a woman of the 20th Century — not a woman of this century.

Media, the vote, the climbing of the corporate ladder, female leaders in politics and business, as far as I see it, have all put more pressure on women of today. And one has to fit in. It's habitual for women nowadays to take control and fend for themselves. We're not only encouraged to do this, it's expected of us.

So why then, was my teacher not stepping up to my plate?

I thought men liked independent, carefree women who could look after themselves and not lean on a man for all her whims? Apparently not. One mention of my banking profession — as downplayed as I made it sound — clammed him up, much like the de-shelled seafood sitting dolefully on top of his pizza.

Intimidated by powerful women?

I do realise men get intimidated, but it's not like I told him my annual salary, flashed my platinum card around, or even waxed lyrical about what I did. And it's not as if I judged him for what he does during his eight to five (although, he leaves his place of work at 3pm each day, that's neither here not there), I sort of brushed over the topic. And in return, I marvelled at what he had achieved in his life.

Suddenly he was shifting in his chair, muttering "wow. So you wear suits and stuff?" To which I responded, "And sometimes they itch".

Suddenly in the twist of a knife, it seemed as if I had out-careered him. Which brings me to the next point: A friend and I were discussing how many ladies we know who are out of the corporate catfight, gently pursuing professions such as teaching, NGO work, retail and such were dropping like flies. They're all getting hitched faster than you can say, "peach or pink napkins?"

The highflying career-bespoken birds we know, although beautiful, successful, charming and self-sufficient, are the one's speed dating with their embossed business cards, only to have relationships out fizzle out faster than they had started.

Perhaps as times have changed for women, men have remained caved. Wanting to be needed and revered for changing that light bulb, rewiring her home theatre system, changing her tyre and most importantly — they want to be the one's bringing in the bucks and buying the bread (not that I can change my own tyre or rewire my home theatre system, but you get my point).

Patriarchy is still very much alive

Traditional patriarchy is still very much there. But what do you do, when two conflicting poles pull you in different directions? Lie?

One wants you to be able to cook a roast and spawn children; while the other encourages you to fulfil your own dreams. Although many women would be happy to bring the majority of the dough home, so many men feel emasculated by this.

Perhaps it comes down to the man and woman themselves. It's not my responsibility to beef him up and make him feel confident and successful at what he chooses to do. Most us pursue careers we feel we'd be good at, or are (hopefully) very passionate about. Surely this would suffice?

But no, I didn't get laid. My date had lost interest at the mention of 'corporate', which was unfortunate, as he had built schools around the coast of the Transkei, which I actually found very sexy...