I have a difficult decision to make. I don't have much time, the pressure is on. The Spanish Inquest ? the man I had a holiday fling with (involving lots of sangria), and which later evolved into an e-relationship ? is haunting my dreams.

I've steadily and resoundingly tried to disengage from this e-fling, more so since out first e-fight last week. You can see why I desperately need to step back and turn my computer the hell off. This has all gone a little out of e-control. I'm using e-mo language; I am still desperately imagining his Latino form, wanting so badly to see his gonads in the flesh again.

This is possibly the unhealthiest e-addiction of my life.

It's going to end in tears

And sadly, even if this was a feasible relationship for the near future, there is absolutely no near future attached to this situation. It's only going to end in tears, and I believe because I'm so sucked in, they're most surely going to be my tears.

I'm being sent to Spain on business next week. I found out two months ago and said nothing to the Spaniard, and still haven't. What do I do? As much as I'd love to spend three sweaty, love struck, thunderous, penis-impaling nights with this gorgeous-by-screen man, I fear that my heart just might break in two on my departure.

I fear I may be the piece of meat, willingly throwing myself into the pit of heady, lustful infatuation, which will eat me alive. That heady lustful infatuation will have my guts for garters. He'd be able to shag me, probably at least 67 times in fact, but he'd also be able to walk away from that thinking, 'Buen dirty weekend, ole.' And I, like all females, will just find myself hopelessly attached.

Or will I? I managed to shag my ex, quite astonishingly, a month ago without feeling one iota of anything. Maybe I could manage that with this one too? In other words, maybe I could be a man about this. Perhaps missing an opportunity to see and touch his skin in the real world shouldn't be missed, but at what price to my heart?

Already I feel that I'm the one holding the brighter torch at the moment. To him, I'm someone to pass the time with when he is logged onto his computer.

I want to have his babies!

To me, he is Enrique Iglesias, and I want to have his babies. I am on unstable ground. Would having him kiss me while re-introducing to himself to my nether regions be the most sensible idea?

Some of my friends say I should go for it. Disengage, find the art of detachment, and realise sex is sex and this one is hot and Spanish. But many of my friends say I'm setting myself up for a fall.

How do you even disengage from something that hasn't even been physical? It's harder than you may believe. Seeing his little Skype icon flash makes me react the same way as if he were to walk into a room and call my name (whip around immediately, mouth agape and ready to drool).

So even when I try and avoid the man ? however that's done ? it's almost impossible. It would mean I'd have to block him, or de-friend him on Facebook, or never turn my PC on ever again. And I don't think it's that dire yet.

So I sit in quandary. Do I inform him of my conference in Madrid, and risk the hurt? Or will I spend the next decade of my life kicking myself for missing such a shag opportunity. Rest assured if I quietly slip into Spain, untold, I'd almost certainly leave unharmed.

What am I to do? I have a few days to decide.

Sometimes I wish I was still pining over my work client still. It would be a hell of a lot easier. Being offline and all.