Sex with the ex. Most of the time it's a terrible mistake — spawned from too many glasses of wine and a barrelful of desperation.

Most of the time, sex with the ex is meant to result in a reconnection. Usually, one person always gets hurt, while the other just gets satisfied.

Most of the time, it is never how you imagined it. His penis certainly wasn't as big as it was in your fantasies maybe, and your mind had grossly exaggerated the firmness of his chest.

Until it happened to me — last week, to be precise — I was pining for my long lost holiday fling, and although Skype is a great way to talk to someone, my hefty libido was begging for some bedroom aerobics.

Complicated or simply satisfying?

All the right elements with my ex were there, and if executed as planned, we would be the product of two mature adults, who happened to be single, releasing a much wonton amount of sexual frustration onto each other. Hopefully with the conclusion of being satiated — at least until we found another person to fornicate with in the near future.

I weighed up the options. My ex, German Man, was out on business from Dusseldorf. He'd therefore meant that after a short period of time, he'd be leaving. This was good. This meant, if the Plan a la Sex was to be conceived, there'd be no repeated trysts, and no drawn out moments of embarrassment or expectation. He'd be gone and we'd both resume as was.

Another attractive notion was The German himself. Although we had broken up more than a year ago, and had both subsequently dated other people, we'd got over each other and even managed to remain friends throughout.

The German was a different ex; we always knew that we'd love and care for each other, but we really were better off as friends. It was as amicable a break up as break-ups can be.

As much as we were over each other, and that we were better suited to other partners long-term, we still had that chemistry crackle thing going. I still found him frightfully handsome, especially after a glass of wine, and I know that he felt the same.

That carnal sexual component

Even if I didn't wear make up, or pranced around in an aged tracksuit, he still, endearingly mind you, managed to look at me with hungry eyes.

Thus there were no feelings involved, only an animalistic and carnal sexual component. And he'd be leaving, which meant the likeliness of this component remaining the same and not altering our otherwise fragile friendship, was null and void.

Another plus to a 'sex with the ex' scenario was that your numbers remain the same.

I'd slept with this person before of course; I didn't need to create another notch in my bedpost. I didn't need to count on my toes. My numbers would remain untouched. Also, I wasn't having sex with a stranger. We both knew each other's bodies, sexual history, and what each liked.

He knew I preferred it on the side of the bed, while I knew he preferred his on the floor. This is a bonus, as it means your chances for a fantastic shag are obviously increased. The German always was great in the sack, anyway. I don't remember a time we had bad sex, come to think of it.

'He had protection; I had resilience… '

So all the right reasons were in place, was it to execute as planned? Was I the only one thinking this was a good idea? Should I pose the question to The German even? Or should I just go with the flow, over a few drinks at dinner?

I did both. I tested the waters with a few bottles of Cabernet Sauvignon and then, after I'd consumed enough Dutch courage, posed the question of whether he'd like to sleep over in my bed.

He said he assumed he'd definitely be sleeping in my bed, so why did I even have to ask?

Well then. The rest of the night and early hours of the morning were spent banging away. At one stage, so emphatically, we actually ended up falling off the side of my bed.

He had protection; I had resilience. Dusseldorf had been stressful; my long distance e-fling had hit a wall. It was magic; it was good old faithful sex.

I even made him tea the next morning. Pity the milk was sour. We went our separate ways feeling exactly the same for each other we had the day before. Who knew sex with the ex could be exactly that, sex with an ex?