Our desire to satisfy the voyeur in us doesn’t just stop at peaking over the neighbour’s walls or reading a gossip mag. We’ve created a somewhat more organised way to feast our eyes on others by building a stage, adding a pole, music, soft lighting and — 'voila!' — a platform ready to receive not just any pretty little number in high-heels, but one that's willing to pull off her clothes so that you can get a good look at her fiddly bits.

How else would you describe strip tease, or more specifically, the urge to go out and watch one? Simplified, it’s a way for men (mostly) to stimulate their own sexual fantasies. Perhaps it could even be described as an escape from the mudane reality of everyday life.

Is it art?

This year, whilst visiting the Sexpo, I watched Miss UK do the most incredible pole dance number. Her skill and strength on the pole was not only sexy, but jaw-droppingly brilliant. Let's be honest, there aren’t many people that can hold themselves out horizontally on a pole using their bare hands. The fact that she does it naked adds an interesting element, I suppose. Spices it up a bit, perhaps?

Either way, strip tease, — that slow and sensuous dance that sees a gorgeous woman slinking out of her already skimpish outfit — is a pretty skilled one. That kind of sexy is an art that's perfected by some lucky people. But what about us poor sods whose only skill involving a pole is to have it hit us square in the forehead whilst out shopping? Should we just consider ourselves unable to reach an admirable level of sexiness?

Not at all.

Strip tease isn't reserved for the pros. It can be a great way to spice up your own sex life. It offers a couple a new way of approaching intimacy and makes you both stop first and have a good look at one another before diving in. We don't do it often enough — stop and look and enjoy, that is.

Sexologist, Tracy Cox, makes some brilliant suggestions on how to approach your strip tease session with your partner in her book called Supersex. Creating suspense and anticipation is key to a strip session and this can begin before you've even laid eyes on one another with a sexy sms message or call. The key is to keep it slow and seductive, prolonging the point at which you come into physical contact with your partner... .

But if you're curiosity just won't be satisfied with a private session in your own home, it's time to mobilise. Pick out a club (they are plentiful) that you think you might enjoy. It's always a good idea to chat to people and try find out what their opinion might be of the clubs you have in mind. This saves you from going somewhere that's a little thin on class. Most strip clubs have strictly implemented rules and reserve the right to kick anyone out that might be contributing to the sleaze factor.

Stepping out

I’ve heard friends and acquaintances egg each other on to visit a strip joint on many occasion. “We’ll go as a group,” they’ll all agree. “It could be fun,” someone will suggest, probably a guy whose desperate to find a way of visiting a club without getting into trouble with his partner. And always, I hear women agreeing that they’d be interested to see the inside of a club. Yep. That’s the truth. And why? It’s not only to compare her goods to our own. We’d visit a strip club on much more serious business: to witness someone who may actually be a little more sexually liberated than we are. And before you nod your head self-righteously boys, read on: You guys are also there to witness your idea of sexual liberation.

Perhaps it’s not so surprising that we may not be as liberated as we think. It's important that we challenge our ideas of sex and sexuality. Our perceptions of sexy are built on what we learn from others – who in turn have built up their perceptions from others. If you think of it like that, then we’re all just perpetuating a norm and allowing it to continue. Sexy needs to be something you feel, regardless of what that the so-called accepted norm is.

Assessing your sexuality is vital to maintain a healthy sex life throughout your life. If that means visiting strip clubs with friends every now and then, or swinging from a chandelier in a tarzan outfit, well, be my guest. Just not in my house, mind you.

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