The booming erotica industry is successful for a reason. Hundreds, dare I say, thousands and even tens of thousands of South Africans indulge in erotic material. While the general outlook on erotica is that it's for lonely, dirty old men, it's also a tool used by many to enhance their sex lives. Still, I’ve heard many a nervous titter from friends when the subject is brought up.

Sexy films, books and images keep your libido high. For women, erotic material can be an ideal way to awaken your sexy side, while for men, it can be an outlet. For both, it's a great and safe way to explore your sexuality.

Keep it interesting

Generally regarded with moral distaste by many, making use of erotic material is also considered a desperate alternative to a relationship, or worse still, a fix for a failing one. While that may indeed be the case in many situations, I challenge you to try to consider erotica in a different light - as a tool in a good relationship to keep things interesting in the bedroom and as a way to explore your own sexual tastes.

Though many of us are quick to slate erotic material, we still like to consider ourselves sexually emancipated, but how well do we really know our likes and dislikes in the bedroom? Knowing your sexual tastes will help you to create a more honest relationship with your potential or current partner. In fact, those couples that are open with one another about their sexual desires are more likely to have successful long term relationships.

Men tend to be more ready to indulge in erotic material, while it is seen as taboo for the 'nice-girl' to be familiar with erotic material. Women don't have to subject themselves to the typical raunchy material that men prefer. In fact, it is well-noted that women prefer sexy material that is contextualised and which has some emotional investment in it. The range of material available means that anyone's taste is catered for.

Rules and etiquette

Using erotic material has some rules and etiquette around it though. It's important that you don't just whip out the videos without consulting with your partner first.

If you already have a pile of magazines, it's worth being honest with your partner about them. Don't hide them under the bed or in the garage, because, let's face it, sooner or later your partner will stumble across them. Offering up a confession from the word go can give your relationship that platform for honesty that may have been lacking.

Come clean respectfully and be prepared for any reaction from your partner. Try to sit down and discuss when and where each of you would be comfortable with erotica, if at all. Like many areas in a relationship, knowing each other's boundaries is important.

Where to get it

Erotic material that is in good taste can be found at reputable bookstores in designated sections. Try looking for material that you and your partner are ok with. Go along together, or agree before you visit the store on what you'd both like. And of course, if you're both happy with a visit to a sex shop, all the better. It can be great fun to go with your partner.

Not a replacement

Remember, erotic material is there as a stimulus. Treat it as such but place your expectations for intimacy with your partner in reality. Erotica isn't necessarily the type of sex you should aim for, though it is a way to enhance what you already have. With a bit of informed exploration, you could find that your sex life is given a new lease on life.

What are your thoughts on the use of erotic material? Do you agree or disagree with its use? Why? Let us know in the Comments section below.

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