We often cling to the sex tips we read, but here's a new stance: it's time to throw some of those silly misconceptions out the window for a better, healthier sex life.
Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, is akin to insanity and will get you nowhere when it comes to improving your sex life. So, here are a few thoughts to help you and your partner improve your intimacy for a healthier, happier relationship.
Forget the time, just enjoy
Don't focus on how long your love-making lasts. Whether it's a quicky, an hour-long session or a marathon nookie night, just get into it and enjoy the moment. Many men and women place too much pressure on themselves to get the build-up to sex right, but it's also good to throw that out the window from time to time and just enjoy each other's bodies.
Not possible to orgasm at once
It's an unrealistic expectation and is bound to set you both up for disappointment. Our bodies are strongly influenced by many factors which means that we need to be patient and understanding of our own reaction to sex and our partner's reaction too.
"Don’t treat your sex life like it’s a transaction where the both of you get exactly the same amount out of it," writes Serena Paige of website Ask Dan and Jennifer.
No need to both climax every time
Expecting to have an orgasm every time you have sex with your partner is another way to disappoint yourselves. It's also unfair to place this kind of expectation on your partner. That kind of pressure can often be a libido-killer. Instead of focusing on the final result, get stuck into the moment - enjoy the sensations of the present and forget that you're working towards anything at all other than giving and receiving pleasure.
Women take control
Men aren't the only ones who are allowed to instigate a naughty romp session. While most women might feel that being more passive or submissive is what is expected of them in the bedroom, the opposite is often true. Many men are thoroughly turned on when their partner takes control and better still, having control of proceedings can also work to a woman's pleasure advantage.
Be brave, explore your fantasies
Fantasies are made to be shared and are a great way to get to know your partner's own sexual preferences. While many of us stay silent for fear of being rejected by our partners, being brave and choosing to share them can often improve the level of intimacy in your relationship. The bottom line is to leave your judgment at the door when it comes to exploring each other.