Okay, where does a woman get off thinking she can write an article about men and their appendages? Well, before I start, let me surprise you — most of the literature and research I have come across seeking information for this piece was written by women!

Two books on the subject particularly recommended are 'The Penis Book: An owner's Manual', penned by Margaret Gore, and 'Facts and Phalluses: A collection of bizarre and intriguing truths, legends and measurements', written by Alexandra Parsons and illustrated by Jennifer Black.

Obsession with measuring up

So, having established the gender relevance, let's proceed...

Knowing men as I do, I know (and so do you, if you are honest) that penis size is something that often weighs on the male mind. This is simply because men are just as influenced by the cultural images of what we should look like, picked up from the media and society in general, as women are. Pulpy novels, for instance, are full of sex scenes featuring well-endowed heroes satisfying lustful wild women!

Locker rooms, I am told reliably, abound with crude jokes about 'wee willies'.

Ample proof of the male obsession with measuring up can be found on the internet or any soft porn or men's health publication, where advertisements for penis enlargement products and procedures of all kinds are plentiful.

I even found entire websites (searched out purely in the line of duty in compiling this article, of course) devoted to forums and chat rooms where men can compare, complain and commiserate with each other on the size of their genitalia.

Why all this concern about size?

The root of it all?

Anyone who can read nowadays can find a million articles and reference books telling you that size makes no difference to function or sexual ability. What is at the root of this obsession then?

It would appear that men believe women are impressed with how well-hung a guy is. Most women I have questioned on this issue, however, respond with the famous words spoken by Clark Gable in 'Gone with the Wind': "Quite frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!"

While men tend initially to judge a woman's desirability on her physical attributes, it seems women's eyes are not automatically drawn to the crotch when meeting a 'likely' man for the first time.

In fact, I have found that women are generally reluctant to discuss penis size at all. I was met with comments like "sies!" and "what a thing to talk about!".

Kathy, a 21-year-old varsity student, confessed to me that she couldn't recall ever having had a conversation about penis size with other women. "We have talked about techniques," she admitted, "but mainly the size issue only comes up when we make fun of guys who seem to get so upset about it."

Shelley, a young dancer, told me she didn't know whether to be shocked or amused when her ex-boyfriend decided to measure the length of his penis one day. "It's the last thing I worry about, what is more important is the way a man expresses his sensuality with his partner," she said.

Exceptions to the rules

Of course we must accept that there are women for whom size is important, and there will always be men who are desperate because they feel underprivileged in the private department.

One reference book (A Descriptive Dictionary and Atlas of Sexology — Francoeur et al, 1991), gives a definition of 'phallic identity' as "the tendency of males to seek their identity in their penis, with an emphasis on the belief that 'bigger is better'.

"It also describes 'phallocentrism' as being an explanation for sexual development "in which the penis is central and symbolically powered".

John Murtagh, MD, said in an article on "The small penis syndrome" in 1989 that males often visit their doctors for counselling about their anxiety relating to the size of their penis.

"Some males become preoccupied with the size of their penis when they enter a more sexually active lifestyle. It is a manifestation of abnormal body image."

How big is big?

Abnormal or not, how big should you be? Numerous studies and surveys have been done — both in fun and by serious sexologists — to establish 'average' penis size.

They were doing it way back in 1942, when William A. Schonfeld and Gilbert W. Beebe announced a "clinical need for more thorough knowledge of normal variation in the size of male genitalia". They studied 54 young men aged between 20 and 25 and came up with a "mean erect penis length" of 13.02cm, and "the equated erect circumference of 11.39cm.

One of the most well-known, well-used and almost legendary studies was done by Alfred Kinsey back in the 1960s, in a survey involving several thousand American college students. Kinsey and his team measured the length and girth of erect penises and found the average length was six inches and girth about five inches.

Similar results came from the Durex condom company's survey (involving 2800 respondents), which came up with an average erect length of 6.4 inches (163mm) and circumference of 5.2 inches (133mm).

Numerous other studies come up with similar figures, but all found there was a great discrepancy among subjects.

If you really don't like what nature gave you, there are options for improvement ranging from pumps, weights, surgery, magic creams and herbs to natural stretching methods. Doctors also advise living a healthy lifestyle to ensure penis health, and certain herbs — like Damania, sarsaparilla, wild yam, ginseng and even hydrangea root have been recommended for 'sexual invigoration'.

Take a girl's advice though — size does not really matter. It's quality that counts, not quantity!