After years of planning, hours of training and one or two disappointments, a three-man strong team of South African mountaineers, have finally made their way to Kathmandu for a summit attempt of the world's giant — Mount Everest — thanks to their sponsors, including Cape Union Mart.

Although John Black, Gilad Stern and Robbie Kojetin have each climbed their fair share of mountains, either in pairs or on solo expeditions, Everest will be their first climb as a team.

They hope to summit around the 26th of May but in the meantime, they've been acclimatising and preparing for the summit.

Here's John Black's quirky interpretation of life at Base Camp...

Here are some phrases and terminology to help you keep up to speed with the 'Big Hill' lingo. It may come in handy the next time you're in a coffee shop and some guy with a scabby nose and eight fingers strikes up a conversation.

The Sherps — Nepalese Sherpa people who basically run the expedition and make Westerners look like sissies.

Sirdar — Head Sherpa dude, not related to Darth Vader.

O's — Bottled oxygen used above 8000 metres. NB: O's can be sucked, hauled, stashed, cached and dumped. This is not rude and no offence should be taken should someone say, "I was sucking O's like cokehead in Columbia".

Cow's Tail — A device consisting of a Jumar on one end and a Beaner on the other via one's harness. It's used to attach a climber to the fixed lines and prevent the high speed grand tour.

The High Speed Grand Tour — This rather dangerous and potentially uncomfortable manoeuvre involves sliding down the Lohtse face due to not clipping to the safety lines. Grand Tourers can be identified by their loud shrill curses while passing other climbers at great speeds.

Jumar — A device used to secure a climber to a fixed rope/line. The Jumar slides up the rope and jams when pulled the opposite direction. Also referred to as an ascender.

Beaner — A carabiner. A metal link with a snap or screw type opening. Also known as a crab, gate or clippy thing.

Poo Bag — A set of awkward plastic bags and a ridiculously small amount of toilet paper. The designer of this process was either a sadist or a script writer for Charlie Chaplin films. The poo bag is used to store human solid waste to be removed from the mountain side. It is also used to test human faith in the Ziploc bag.

P Bottle — A designated bottle for making number 1's while in the comfort of one's tent. The P bottle should be well marked with tape for sightless identification. P bottles often disguise themselves as their closely related juice bottle cousins and make for great entertainment at 3:15am.

Arm Wrapping — Despite conjuring up the image of watching Eminem with the sound off, arm wrapping is a technique used to descend steep ice by wrapping the rope around one's arm. The technique if used well can speed up awkward descents and is another effective contraceptive to the High Speed Grand Tour.

Ab Device — "If you call now, not only do you get the washboard stomach tool, we'll throw in the Ab Device DVD!… " Not quite. An ab, or abseil device is used to control the rope when a climber descends steep terrain and cliffs. Preferred ab devices include bugs, ATC's, buggetes, 8's, reverso's and other names that sound like terms taken from the Dutch version of the Kama Sutra.

Crampon — This is not a PMS medication. Crampons fit to the soles of climbing boots and provide purchase on the slippery ice and snow due the 12 sharp steel spikes. They also provide nasty wounds in the back of one's calf muscles, holes in expensive trousers and good material for the upcoming feature film Jackass 3. Crampons have filled the imaginations of climber's for years. Thoughts often include tap dancing on your bosses car bonnet, kicking someone tyres, and a fun way to make coleslaw.

Puck — A Nepalese brand of cream cheese. The animal of origin is unknown at this stage and no effort will be made to find out. This delicious condiment is common on Base Camp tables and makes for intriguing conversation. "That was pucking delicious", "pass the pucking cream cheese", "someone pucked my croissant!".

Big Boss — A mild mannered New Zealander who's logistics and knowledge of Everest are jaw-dropping. Always ready with a great story, Big Boss aka Russell Brice, has a friendly smile despite his unwillingness to swap beanies with one very disgruntled South African.

Avalanche — A natural phenomenon used to dirty the underpants of South African climbers unfamiliar to its rumblings. This colossal thundering of ice can be heard from a few kilometres but still causes concerned campers to jump out of there shouting: "Jussie Jo did you flippin' hear that? I kakked my rods!" Avalanches happen a dozen times a day, but never seem lose their effect.

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