Women glow during pregnancy because they are happy about the miracle that's growing inside of them. Ja, right. They're glowing because they've doubled their waistlines, their feet look like vetkoeks and their backs are killing them.

There are those women (pretty much every mother with a kid over the age of two) who would like us to believe that having someone invade your inner space is the most beautiful thing ever. But, let's explore the untold version of the story — the version that has you doubled over the toilet bowl and unable to get out of the car on your own.

Baby on board

Females are very emotional beings. We feel a connection to our clothes. It's heart-breaking when you can't fit into your favourite pants and you are forced to go and buy the Baby on Board brand.

The universe seems to be conspiring against you. Your once-hot body develops stretch marks; your feet swell up like water balloons; and you have to stop looking in the mirror because it inevitably ends in a bucket of tears.

Did I mention that you have to say goodbye to your favourite wine, soft cheese and sushi? And forget about driving yourself around in that last month — the space between your steering wheel and seat was meant to fit a single person, not two.

Emotional wreck

Your figure isn't the only thing to go when you get knocked up — say goodbye to rationality. Oh yes, your emotions will take on the reliability of an out-of-control rollercoaster. You cry because your partner didn't pick up his phone (hell, you cry because he did) or you think your friends have abandoned you. Something very silly can make you break down or shout like a mad woman.

You also develop these crazy cravings that'll drive not only you, but also your partner, bonkers. Who asks for flaky nuts at 1:30 am? Who absolutely must have watermelon in the middle of winter?

I'm not a morning person, okay!

You constantly need to visit the bathroom And don't even think about braving public toilets — you'll be twisting your legs like a child while waiting in line and when you do finally get into that teeny tiny cubicle, you'll realise that pregnant women were the last thing on the architect's mind.

The bathroom becomes your favourite spot in the house. Early in the morning you have to clock in because of that pesky morning sickness. Seriously, if you thought having a tummy bug was bad, imagine feeling nauseous all the time.

Mom look at that lady!

All of a sudden everyone starts treating you like you're about to break. You'll be reminded of your pregnancy every hour of the day. Your partner will start watching your every step. You also have to be polite to strangers who think that it's okay to touch your tummy and predict the sex of your future offspring. And kiddies will want to get under your dress to see the hidden ball.

But if, after reading this, you're still keen, you may just be ready for childbirth!

Are you expecting and never thought you would? Tell us your story in the Comments section below.

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