A good relationship is about mutual respect and kindness to the yourself and the other. It always takes into account both of your needs, values, choices. It is about growth and development. It is a safe place where you can express our feelings, make mistakes, experiment, take risks, and be nurtured along the way.

We have so often learnt that sexual attraction and addiction to the other are critical components. We also learn that having a relationship is about getting our needs met through the other.

But nobody can love us 100 percent of the time in the way we want to be loved. Only we can love ourselves in this way. Nobody else can fulfill your needs all of the time.

Caring for children is often a one-way responsibility. We care for and love them and they are dependent on us, this is the contract.

But if you are still operating like this as an adult then you are in a co-dependent relationship. This type of love makes us feel obsessed by the circumstances. We are unable to stop worrying about the relationship, nor are we able to stop thinking about the caretaking and the guilt.

If you love yourself, accept who you are and fulfil your own needs, you will not be so desperate for relationships. A good relationship means that each person feels emotionally healthy. You cannot rely on a relationship to make you whole.

Bad relationships cost so much: they emotionally drain you, lower your self esteem and kill your spirit. They misuse your energies, dampen our creativity and lessen your abilities.

We have a relationship in order to share ourselves with the other. Remember: You should always be more than your relationships.

Often our relationships mirror what is going on in us. If you do not believe you are worthy of being loved, that is who you will attract.

You should stop having expectations about what others will do for you. You should focus on what you look like, what you are, what you do for yourself. Learn to take care of yourself.

Relationships are about balance, not about rights and obligations. They are more about expansion and growth than about holding on and staying put.

You need to learn to let others be. If you want unconditional adoration, than get a puppy. If you want to moan and groan at your partner, go to a therapist!

When you want exclusive attachment, you want to feel in unity with another. Not only are you joined at the hip, you are one body, one soul.

But this desire can be dangerous; as long as you strive for this type of relationship you will always feel anxious and insecure. Because you want another to complete you, you will never feel whole and complete inside.

When you allow your partner to be who they really are, you are showing deep care. When you try and control them you probably deeply fear abandonment or powerlessness.

Whatever you most fear has probably already occurred… so what you really are is afraid of your past reoccurring.

In a healthy relationship, you:

Use physical force or threats to prevent the other from leaving

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