During this period you could feel like "a beast of burden" or an enlightened, integrated and compassionate person. Huge age gap relationships become fraught with pitfalls as patriarchy dictates that single women in their 40s are "old maids".

As one 24-year-old man joked: "It's not the time to hang on to Mr. Right, it's the time to hang on to Mr. Right-Now!"

Men in their midlife, especially if they have achieved status, are still seen as eligible. This disparity, although unfair, can impact on the couple's belief in their relationship. Age gap relationships at this stage may remain "affairs" if the development disparity is not handled sensitively.

The advice:

As you are entering midlife, check out your behaviour. If you are unable to accept the aging process on all levels, it shows. An older man may hang onto the hero's role by pursuing power, glory, sex and achievement, whereas an older woman may become depressed if they perceive themselves as depleted after giving all as a mother and wife.

Aging requires the transformation of the divine magic of youth into ‘godlikeness.’ The hero can become a king and the damsel can become a queen. Aging requires the giving up of youthful idealism, yet it is not about stagnation.

It is about inner growth and transformation; wisdom and universal insights; its about digging deep into primordial vitality and contacting the power of the light and the shadow within; its about a lot of humor and compassion; self confidence and creativity.

It’s a time for true caring, being mentors, supporting and giving back. Midlife brings a chance for healthy gender reversal and balance. As a woman you can begin to claim your power, becoming more assertive and independent. Men begin to give up their big ‘ego’s’ thereby discovering a strong need to express their feelings and discover their dependency needs.

A younger person may battle to understand or encourage this process. As an older person you have a chance to re-forge your life and find the secret of turning lead into gold.

With this knowledge, those in midlife get to hold the world together while the youth get to create it. If your relationship encourages growth and rites of passage, then the age gap does not matter. Synchronized emotional maturity is the backbone of any relationship.

A 40-year-old man could be a needy boy on the inside and therefore would be comfortable with a much younger woman. If a 20-something man has developed a stable and mature emotional life, he will be capable of dealing with the emotional needs of an older woman.

The best advice for you is to communicate compassionately with your partner, laugh and play a lot while always remembering to foster a strong sense of self and your own source of satisfaction.