Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of beauty, fertility and love, although irresistible to all men, chose Adonis the beautiful boy-god, as her beloved.

The Queen of Sheba believed that the sperm of young male lovers was the secret elixir of longevity.

The older Jung described his affair with a young patient as his "stream of lava" that ignited his creativity. Words like "sugar mommy" or "sugar daddy" or 'toy-boy' have become part of our language of reference.

"You are only as old as the man you feel," may have some truth in it — but we need to look deeper if the age gap is over 10 years.

The challenges

Such partnerships are in different developmental phases. This means that they are out of sync in their needs, preferences of lifestyle and emotional, mental and physical development.

• Physical abilities and energy levels differ. If you both enjoy intellectual, creative and domestic pursuits then this becomes unimportant.

• Although genetics, lifestyle and exercise dictate the aging pace, bodies do age. Body image has been overvalued in our society and we are vulnerable to narcissistic blows to our self-esteem as we loose our looks.

• Vigorous sex does not only belong to youth. A life of excess as well as despairing about aging will take its toll on sexual prowess during midlife. A young lover may be ill equipped to handle this

• Self esteem problems and feelings of insecurity are common in large age gap relationships. The younger partner feels inadequate because of income, status, experience and knowledge differences while the older may feel jealous of the partners vitality, sense of fun and physical appearance.

• Different lifestyle and recreational needs may become obvious. Travelling is great for the younger partner but long social lunches are not.

• How you want to spend your time and money differs.

• Friends, family and children are often big obstacles. The partner has to socialise in a different age group that can become contentious. Older partners often have children whereas the younger partner may want her/his own children.

... And the benefits

The older person gets to feel a part of what’s hot, topical and trendy; climb mountains, explore nightclubs, dance until sunrise, ride on the back of scooters; have a fun, energetic re-ride of things that maybe already stale; feel creative, sexy and rebellious.

The younger partner gets to be appreciated just for being fun; be mentored or challenged; enjoy uninhibited sex while learning invaluable lessons about making satisfying love; and to do and have things they cannot usually afford.

A 22-year-old man once told me: "Older women are sexually more assertive and more comforting."

A 28-year-old said: "I have a hard time finding women my age that I have admiration for."

A young woman told me that she gets to do interesting and stimulating things with an older man.

A deeper understanding of the issues

Men in their twenties can be likened to the Young Warrior: active, arrogant, physical with a belief in immortality. Twenty-something men and women lead with their egos as they explore and experiment with alternative options of the world. Their idea of love often involves possessiveness, obsession and idealism.

As the 30’s loom selecting a mate and starting a family become paramount. The Hero and Heroine emerge as they strive for more autonomy. Most issues in this period are around juggling children, home, marital and career needs.

A 33-year-old man who has dated many older women told me that he loved the challenge and stimulation when he was younger but now in his 30s he views older women as "set in their ways" and he perceives himself as more dynamic.

Many women in their 30’s may leave their older, "boring" husbands as their own confidence matures and their need for external security diminishes.