Of late there has been an interesting trend that has been paraded on the pop stages of the world. And, irrevocably has made its way onto the high street and into the malls of our very own home towns.

It was a trend started by the mighty Madonna, replicated swiftly by Britney mark II, honed by Rihanna and finally perfected in all its glory by her camp highness, Lady Gaga. It is, of course, the absence of pants.

Now when you're an international pop icon, and you choose to wear a costume on stage that more closely resembles a bathing suit than a trouser suit, we just nod and smile and accept it. You are after all, a superstar putting on a show.

However, when the girl having a picnic in front you (and 4000 others) at Kirstenbosch gardens gets up and you can see the bottom edge of her underwear beneath a very short tunic top — the only conclusion one can draw is that she has simply forgotten to put on her trousers. How very embarrassing.

A waste of a good pair of pants

Now I'm no stick-in-the-mud fuddy duddy when it comes to fashion. I'm just as fond of a classic pair of Doc Marten boots as I am of my Jimmy Choo slingbacks. I can rock a shrunken leather jacket with a sequin boob tube with the best of them. I even think that a jumpsuit is pretty cool. But when it comes to leaving out an essential element of your outfit completely, well I just think that is a waste of a good pair of pants.

And it's not just Madonna that is to blame. I love a good teenage TV drama, especially when the clothes are as much the heroes of the piece as the actors. And so Gossip Girl has made it onto my PVR list. I watch and I rewind and I scribble down the details of the outfits — but all too frequently my jottings include the comment, "way too short — where are her pants?"

There was another young lady at the Kirstenbosch event last night whose outfit was modelled almost exactly on one worn by Blake Lively in Gossip Girl. Unfortunately, the fabric of her 'dress' (so short that I use the term loosely) was very cheap and thin and thereby rendered see-through.

Her boots must have made her feet sweat in a most unattractive way in the 32-degree heat and her hat just did not actually fit on her head. What may have been a cute outfit on a TV show, was actually just totally inappropriate in real life — particularly when her underwear was obviously apparent for all to see. I wondered what her parents would think. And then I wondered when exactly I became the voice of my own parents.

And so I decided to give you all, girls and their mum's alike, a quick guide to wearing the pants. After all we have fought the men for this right for long enough.

You know it is not a dress when:

• It has 5cm slits up each side
• It is transparent and you can see your underwear
• It skims the bottom of your underwear
• Your cardigan is longer than your 'dress'

If you don't want to wear long trousers with your tunic top, there are actually some great alternatives to going out in what becomes a humiliatingly short frock. Simply by popping a great pair of short shorts on underneath your tunic, you capture the boho look superbly, and get to show off your coltish legs.

A pair of leggings works well and can be lovely and tight so that there is no mistaking your great pins. Or, finally, you can opt for a mini-dress instead. You know, one that is short, but maintains your modesty and dignity.

There is an ideal length for a mini-skirt or dress. Stand in front of a mirror and take a look at your thighs (obviously without your trousers). That point at which your thighs stop going concave, and start their journey back out again, that is the point at which you should wear your skirt length. It is the point at which your legs will look their thinnest.

It seems counterintuitive therefore to wear a skirt shorter to show off your legs — but at a length that will actually land up making your legs look heavier.

I hope this helps all those afflicted by this dreadful confusion. Just remember while the lovely Rhianna wears this look on stage, you would never catch her on the street in such an undignified outfit. If not even Sienna Miller can get away with wearing a pair of giant knickers without ridicule, girls of our fair land, neither can you. Put on your pants with pride, for you are the truly stylish.

For more information on Robyn and photos of people in all sorts of appropriate length outfits, go to: http://styleguidecapetown.blogspot.com