The Golden Globes, or the Golden Knobs? Call me crazy, but Hollywood's glamour seems to be lost on me. Perhaps it was the rain at this year's sojourn, or more accurately, maybe it was because Jennifer Aniston rocked up in black. Again.

The truth is, unless someone sashays onto the stage after too many glasses of bubbly (Go Mariah!), or kisses her brother while sporting a vial of blood around her neck, (Angelina Jolie was a rock star once), viewers (ergo, we) are not that interested.

Luckily there was enough gas in the tank to get South Africans interested beyond the fashion faux pas and the who-did-who at the after party. Morgan Freeman got a Best Performance award for Invictus, but does the rest of the world really care?

Let's be honest, they were probably more excited to see whether Emily Blunt would shed herself of her Queen Victoria upper lip and suck face with Colin Firth at Elton John's post-awards party in view of a paparazzo telephoto lens.

We're a little shallow that way. And yes, that's where your mislaid heat magazine is ? your boyfriend is reading it on the toilet as we speak, to see whether Paris Hilton was wearing panties.

The red carpet had presenter Ryan Seacrest and his aluminium-clad anchor, Juliana Rancic, gleefully pointing out which celebrity partners were missing.

God forbid there's trouble in paradise for any star over the Golden Globes. Even if they're wearing top haute couture, the void of a missing partner writes a thousand headlines.

And in this year's pouring rain, it was more evident due to those partners dutifully holding umbrellas over their loved one's carefully coiffed hair. Maggie Gyllenhaal and Jennifer Garner were two that drew concerned clucking and head shaking from presenters and viewers alike.

Lindsay Lohan was another who bravely snuck in alone wearing a silver hoodie ? not much of a disguise if you ask me.

The truth of the matter is people care who won the awards for about five seconds. The rest is what piques human interest. We need only watch E! Entertainment News the morning after for that to be confirmed.

Reports show that this year's Golden Globes was boringly tepid on the gossip front. There were no explosions of chiffon, sequins and satin, and even Lindsay behaved and good for her. For once.

Perhaps it was the rain. Robert Downey Jr had a spat with his wife backstage on whether Matt Damon would win his award, and even then, that was tame. No make up sex or torn dresses and smeared mascara.

Despite disappointment on a very carnal level of all the non-drama and cold-paletted gossip surrounding such red carpet events, one can't downsize the importance of the Golden Globe Awards.

You?ll hear Sandra Bullock commenting, 'If I really wanted trophies, I would've won them years ago.' Not a bad way to shrug off her nomination if she didn't win. If Sandra's award doesn?t get her laid, her modesty certainly will... er, not to mention her good looks or purple fairy dress.

All that said, the art of movie-making isn't all lost. Meryl Streep has been a busy woman, and racked up two nominations in this year's Golden Globes, and won one. Arguably one of the most talented actresses of our time, no one really cares whether she's with or without a partner, or whether her Versace lands up on the What Were You Thinking? centerfolds.

Luckily for her, that job has already been taken.