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Today, 09 July 2009

> 'We will strike until 2011'

> Black Anglo chairman?

> Mob breaks robber's legs

> New charges for Malema?

> White farmers to be spared

Yesterday, 08 July 2009

> Michael Jackson's final bow

> Hawks make first arrest

> Guard 'raped' by two women

> Dog-tired of men...

> Cope a 'fraud' - Grindrod

Not so long ago a friend and I were scrambling up the side of a cliff face in a remote part of the garden route. The vast blue of the ocean was spread out behind us and we felt like we were climbing up into the sky.

My friend has spent his entire life as a frustrated closet comedian and since we experienced a sense of freedom in this beautiful landscape, he naturally began to act.

He created an imaginary scene. He was a Lamu pirate on his way to find his treasure while being pursued by some evil bandit by the name of Greenjaw. The only part left for me to play was (embarrassingly) kidnapped "damsel in distress".

It was such fun with foreign accents, screams and dramatics that we got to the top effortlessly and collapsed laughing hysterically.

I felt light and happy without a care in the world. Enthusiasm and spontaneity were suddenly my best friend, which inspired me to try out the 'scream release' technique that I had read about in a Paulo Coelho novel, right there on top of the mountain! This requires you to pretend that you are a germinating bean. You curl up in a tight little ball, gather in all your frustrations, disappointment and anger as you breathe in. Then you slowly uncurl in the sun, raise your arm high in the sky, open your mouth and scream like you never have before.

It felt terrific! So there I was, full grown adult and mother of two, playing pirates and screaming into the wind. I had never felt better. I was alive to life. Alive to the elements. Alive to my soul. I felt free.

Play is for Adults too

Play is something we leave to the kids. We are not even convinced that it is useful. Yet play is vital for all levels of child development. It helps children integrate and understand social rules and roles. They practice communication, language, social skills and experience themselves in different roles enabling them to understand their place in the world.

Through play children express emotion and release tension. And more than this it allows them to use their imagination, a vital source of creativity. And of course play is fun and it's what we all could once do naturally and easily. When we play we enable the body to release happy and calming endorphins, stimulating our own natural anti-depressants.

Adults have lost the art of play. We have stifled, gagged and chained up our inner ‘free’ child. Instead we become ‘proper’ rule bound, responsible, embarrassed to be different, scared, AND boring!

As this happens we stem the flow of our creativity. We must do what is 'right' especially what others want, be productive, serious and just 'get things done' — and in the end we lose our spark, our curiosity, our fascination, our belly laughs and our soul.

Play mates

I once met a colleague who had spent his adult life studying play amongst wolves in Northern Canada. All mammals play. Watch dolphins, cats, lions, dogs. He was able to engage almost every wild animal to play with him. He was convinced that as humans when we give up play, we ignore a huge part of our genetic inheritance and separate ourselves from the rest of mammals. He told me that play allows us to be with each other in a non-competitive way and results in 'flow', where things are done effortlessly and naturally. It helps us to bond with each other in a heartfelt and trusting way. Fighting disappears.

Humans and animals need to feel safe to play. It is not about competition, rules or outcome. It just is. It allows freedom, spontaneity and brings into the present. As this happens, the past and future recedes and with them our stress and worries. We get in touch with our human spirit. Therefore it's a good mood barometer in a home. If we feel safe at home there will be play, fun and laughter.

The good news is: if there is play in your home your children thrive, you will feel happy and light, your relationship will naturally improve and your libido soars!

Ideas for play